Hetalia Histories
by Girlygeek43
Summary: The past is no longer a mystery so welcome to Horrible Histories with Hetalia. *I own nothing and if you know any facts I can use say it in the comment section.*
1. Arthur Kirkland: Marie Antoinette

*I own nothing at all.*

**FABULOUS FRENCH**

_Lot's of things in History are actually a mystery. The Truth's not always in the books you read. Facts can get distorted or even misreported. Imagine if that was all down to me? Arthur Kirklane, IT'S KIRKLAND!_ Sorry.

England was on the phone answering a call "Right, I know there are two Francis Bacon's, but one was the scientist from the renaissance the other was an artist from the 20th century." He then hung up the phone and yelled "Whallop!" Soon Hungary came into the room and said,

"Arthur, I've got Marie Antoinette here to see you."

Arthur sighed knowing that he wasn't on good terms with the French.

"Alright, just send her in."

Soon Marie walked in and Arthur told her,

"Marie, take a seat. Arthur Kirkland telling it as it wasn't. So what seems to be the problem?"

Marie took her seat and said,

"Monsieur ze problem is zhat all of zes so called history books fail to see ze real me."

"How could they not they see the real you? I mean you did bankrupt France after all when you spent all of his money on your fun with so much drinking, eating, and affairs with Axel Von Fersen."

"Zhat is not true at all, in fact I rarely drank, I ate very little, and zhere is no real true evidence I 'ad an affair with the Swedish count. On top of zhat, France was already in a bad economic time before I got married to Louis." **  
**

England sighed and took notes down and then told her,

"Well, with those peasants so angry and screwing up your image. I can see why you wanted your subjects to eat cake then."

Marie then stated,

"I never said, "Let zhem eat cake." Zhat phrase was said years before I was even born. Also, Louis and I did our best to give so much away to zhose in need, I even taught one of my children to 'elp out peasants, and we even sold our flatware to buy grains for our people during poor 'arvest."

A Rat came up on screen holding a sign that said, "All True."

England wrote down notes again.

"Well, that's an interesting side for a French queen. I never knew you'd be so charitable."

She then said,

"Oh, zat's anozher problem, people somehow zhink I'm actually French."

England was confused,

"You're not French at all?"

She shook her head,

"Oui, I'm not French I'm actually form Austria. I was ze youngest daughter of Maria Theresa. Even my 'usband Louis wasn't fully French, he was part Polish and Austrian."

England then wrote down more notes and said,

"Well, that seems to clear things up. I'll be sure to clear things up in history for you and maybe have a little word with the makers of that Kirsten Dunst movie."

"Oh Danke."

England then looked at her awkwardly.

"I mean Merci."

"WHALLOP!"


	2. Irate Irish, and Slimy Stuarts

*I own nothing at all.*

**IRATE IRISH**

A cartoonish Irishman poped up and said,

"We Irish people were part of the UK for some time, but along that time we had plenty of uprisings. In the rebellion of 1798 we actually were assisted by the French but it didn't end so well."

He then pulled away the title card revealing an Irish solider waiting for backup.

"Where are they? Where are those French reinforcements we asked for?"

Another answered her by saying,

"Well, it seems from reports is that they've decided to enter the Island through the West, and travel here by foot."

"WHAT! Travel here by foot from the West? I told them to go to the East."

"Unfortunately they thought the island was small enough to walk across on foot."

A sign came up that read "True."

The Irish soldier sighed,

"Are they really that stupid the island is only half the size of France?"

"I guess so, but it shouldn't take too long for them to arrive."

**A few weeks later.**

The French soldiers finally arrived and one of them went up to the same Irish soldier.

"Bonjour, did we miss anyzhing?"

"Why yes ye did miss something."

He then asked,

"Well, what was it?"

She then punched his face and said,

"The whole thing. I'll remind meself not to ask the French for help in future uprisings."

**SLIMY STUARTS**

An advertisement announcer then said,

"Irish folk, are you bored of the Cromwell conquest? Well, enjoy the game that was popular since Tudor times "Hide & Priest.""

An Irish woman then asked,

"Is this hard to play at all?"

The announcer then said,

"Why it's very simple to play, just hide your local Catholic priest in your house from Oliver Cromwell or his army. But be sure not to get caught. Then as a puritan comes around just be hopeful that nobody finds the priest. But if the priest is found its game over."

One of Cromwell's men then found the priest,

"Ah ha, quartering a priest I see you sinful Catholics."

The announcer followed with,

"And when we mean game over we really mean it because you'll be put to death if you're caught. That's Hide & Priest, the game that brings Catholics and protestants together, but not in a good way."


	3. Stupid Deaths Li Po

**STUPID DEATHS *Prussia as the grim reaper and China as Li bai AKA Li Po***

_Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Death was sitting at his chair waiting for the next person to come in while talking to his "co judges."

"Awesomeness is my middle name mien friend. NEXT!"

Soon a Chinese man wearing ancient clothing and the number 762 came in as if on cue. Death asked him,

"Und, you are?"

"Li Po, famous poet of Tang Dynasty China, aru."

The man answered

"A poet, vell since you entertain people vith your vork, entertain me vith your story."

"Of course Aru. Well, as a poet of China I loved writing about the environment around me.I especially wrote quite well when I was drunk aru."

"Ooh, a drunk poet this should be interesting. But ze stupid death if you don't mind."

Death commented.

"All right then aru. One object that I really loved in the environment was the moon aru. So one night I was out on a boat and saw the reflection of the moon in the water and it looked so beautiful and close that night that I wanted to hug it aru."

Death had a smirk on his face,

"Go on."

"It turns out that my attempt at hugging the moon was a failure since I fell out of my boat and drowned aru."

He said embarrassed. Afterwards Death began to laugh loudly,

"Kesesesese, from trying to hug a reflection. Looks like your death reflects your brain."

He continued laughing but soon calmed down.

"All right let me check with the judges."

He tilted over to the skeletons and nodded his head.

"Hm hmm that's three yeses, you're through to the afterlife."

Li Po then walked into the afterlife.

"Man, I really love mien job sometimes I really do."

_Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, hope next time it's not you._

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	4. England the Highwayman

**GORGEOUS GEORGIANS **

***England as Dick Turpin and the BTT as the gang of robbers.***

A Georgian woman came out and said,

"History often does get a few things wrong from time to time, including when they seem to think that this Georgian villain's life was highly glamourous."

Music began to play and Dick Turpin started to move with the music.

_"Everyone thinks they know the story_  
_Of Dick Turpin's highway glory_  
_But my past is far more gory_  
_I was no saint_

_You think life is one big antic_  
_My profession is romantic_  
_Hate to be pedantic_  
_But it ain't"_

A guitar began to play,

(HUU)  
_"As a butcher down in Essex_  
_I was handy with a knife_  
_Had a sideline as a poacher_  
_Led a less than honest life_

_The notorious gang of Gregory_  
_Liked my style and dedication_  
_They signed me up and gave me_  
_A real robber's education_

_We rampaged through the Essex farms_  
_We stole and robbed and fought_  
_But when the law came for us_  
_I escaped and they got caught."_

_"I became a highwayman_  
_Was daylight robbery "_

(HUU)

_"I was no prince charming_  
_Nothing dandy about me"_

(HUU)

_"The truth is, I was violent_

_And with my good mate, Matt King_

_Robbed travellers at gunpoint_  
_Money, watches, anything! _  
_My horse it wasn't called Black Bess_  
_Although that's what you've read_  
_Was no romantic hero_  
_Shot not one but two men dead_

_The legend that surrounds me_  
_Misses out the crucial part_  
_I was a ruthless killer_  
_With a ruthless killer's heart"_

_"Was a vicious highwayman_  
_A source of pain and tears"_

(HUU)

_"When you hear how my story ends_  
_You won't believe your ears"_

(HUU)

_"I ran away to Yorkshire_  
_Changed my name to John Palmer_  
_Was sent to prison_  
_After stealing chickens from a farmer_

_Wrote a letter to my family_  
_A plea it did relate_  
_The postman saw the envelope_  
_And here's the twist of fate_

_He had taught me how to write_  
_So he knew I'd lied_  
_'That's not John Palmer's hand_  
_That's Dick Turpin's! ' he cried!"_

_"Was a vicious highwayman_  
_My crimes had brought me fame_

(HUU)

_Was stitched up by a postie_  
_That's not glamourous... that's lame! _

_No more stand and deliver_  
_You'll remember this, I hope_  
_It's no fun hanging with highwaymen_  
_When you're... hanging from a rope!"_

The highway man was the hung.

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	5. Stupid Deaths WW2 Russian Tank Operator

**WOEFUL SECOND WORLD WAR**

_Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Death was at his chair talking to his judges,

"No, these eyes aren't contacts at all they're really red. Oh vhatever, NEXT!"

A very tall man that was wearing a Soviet uniform came in.

"Und you are?"

"A Russian soldier from World War 2."

Death sighed,

"Another one let me guess killed by a German?"

"Nyet, it's actually more embarrassing then you would think."

"Oh really well tell me the story."

The Russian man sighed and said,

"Well, it's embarrassing because I was a Russian tank operator and we had special dogs trained to place bombs on German tanks."

"Go on."

"Well, it turns out that as we were training the dogs they could only recognize Russian tanks. So they strapped the bombs to our tanks instead of the German tanks."

Death began laughing loudly,

"Kesesesese, killed by a dog that couldn't recognize the enemy tank, vhat an explosive end. You're dead funny. That's three yeses you're through to the afterlife."

Soon the soldier walked into the afterlife.

"Man I really love mien job sometimes I really do."

_Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

__The scene then cut away to a puppet rat that started to speak to the audience,

"It's true, the Russians did train dogs to attach bombs to German tanks, but the Russians forgot that the dogs could only recognize Russian tanks so the plan backfired."

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	6. American Civil War Report with Bob Hale

**AWESOME USA!**

_Presenting the HH TV Report with Bob Hale_

Sam was checking her computer and then faced the audience,

"Hello and welcome to the news at when. When? The mid 1800s, when America was having problems over slavery, split up and went to war within itself to unite itself again. Here with more details is Bob Hale with the American Civil War report, Bob."

The camera soon panned over to Bob in front of a map of the US.

"Thank you Sam, well there it is mid 1800s America and at this time it's been having an industrial revolution of its own, thanks to immigration, factories, and agriculture. And thanks to this rapid growth they're also going to need more land, so they expand further to gather more states, but the government has a bit of a problem."

Bickering politicians showed up on the screen,

"It seems that with every state the US gains politicians are arguing whether or not some states should allow African slaves to be free or in slavery. And Slavery is considered important in the South because agriculture needs people to pick crops for them including, cotton, sugar, tobacco, and tea."

Several images of the crops mentioned flashed as he said the words including a picture of England sipping a tea cup.

"Except not tea."

The picture of England came up again with a frown and an x mark over him.

"However they have agreed that more Northern States should be free while Southern States should legalize slavery. However, there's a bit of a problem with this state."

The State of California was soon highlighted red,

"Yes, the state of California which had difficulties on whether to make it free or a slave state since it covers both the South and the North. But in 1850 they agreed to have it as a free state, including states above Missouri, and that's the end of that."

There was a pause,

"BUT NOT FOR LONG! In 1854 there's a battle in the state of Kansas known as Bleeding Kansas over weather or not it should be a free or slave state but eventually people vote and it becomes a free state. While as slavery is going on cotton is in high demand across the world, and that is where this chap comes in."

Soon a picture of Eli Whitney flashed up.

"Eli Whitney, who invented the cotton gin which takes seeds out of the cotton so Northern factories can make clothes out of it faster which calls for more slaves. However, tensions about the treatment of slaves grow. Because, before Bleeding Kansas in 1852 this author pops up named Harriet Beecher Stowe who writes an anti slavery book called Uncle Tom's Cabin, which reveals the harsh treatment that African slaves get form Souther owners."

A picture of Stowe pops up with the book in hand.

"This brings shock to the North and they want to help, but the South refuses to believe it's true. And even more tension grow as abolitionist try to free slaves including a very famous one named Harriet Tubman, who used the underground railroad, which is a route to free slaves and that's the end of that."

Another pause came,

"Or so we thought However at the time Bleeding Kansas is coming to an end it's presidential election time and Abraham Lincoln is elected president of the United States, this causes further tensions in the deep South because each state in the South split from the Union one by one calling itself the Confederate States of America."

A picture of America flashed up but soon he has another person who looks like him wearing a Confederate Uniform

"Pretty soon on April 1861 rolls around, and at Fort Sumter the first shot is fired, and yes this means war, The American Civil war. So here in Washington DC starts the first Battle of the Bullrun with the Union winning this battle."

A cloud of animated fighting appeared on screen and the confederates running away.

"Then over here in Hampton Virginia was the battle of Hampton Roads, however there was a bit of a problem, the battle ended in a draw sue to having similar weapons, including boats, guns, ironclad ships, and helicopters."

Images of the items mentioned flashed up on screen,

"Except not Helicopters."

The helicopter appeared again with an x mark in front of it.

"But the ironclad ship was true and since both sides had one it ended in a draw because the battles with the ironclad ship went on for hours. But then there's the Battle of Shilo, sporting up another victory for the union. But then comes the Battle of Chancellorvile bringing a victory to the Confederacy. Then another victory for the Confederates at Chickamunga, and the Seven Days Battle, but there's a major turning point for the Union at the Battle of Gettysburg."

The screen flashed up an animated battle.

"And believe me it's the biggest battle of the war, soon this was followed by the famous Gettysburg address by president Lincoln. This assured that after this battle, address, and many more that followed it war victory went to, The Union. Soon the salves are freed, allowed to vote, and equal rights are given to everyone in the US, and that's the end of that."

There was another pause,

"Unless you count the part where before the war ended, Lincoln was shot, Johnson became the next president and he was impeached by congress surviving by just one vote, and civil rights weren't given to African Americans until the 60s. Oh man there seems to be so much fighting inside America that if I don't get some water within the next 10 seconds I might as well be fighting with myself."

Somebody came with a glass of water he took it and slapped it on his face.

"That's better, back to you Sam."

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	7. The Nordic 5 Viking Song Literally!

**VICIOUS VIKINGS!**

***Staring the Nordic 5 as the Vikings with Denmark as the lead singer, Finland as the drummer, and Hanatamago as the dog that runs behind them. I didn't write it down but just think about it the clip in your head.***

5 Viking silhouettes walked towards the screen and the one with spiky hair began to sing.

_Was the summer of 793  
When we sailed across the great North Sea.  
_

Then the short Finnish one with"drumsticks," began to sing.

_Comets crossed the skies that night;  
Must've known something wasn't right._

The spiky haired one began to sing again,

_We arrived upon the English shore  
And offered friendship,  
But we wanted more.  
Yes! So much more._

_We're tearing up the place tonight. Literally._  
_We're going to set this sleepy town alight. Literally._  
_We'll kill and steal and burn and drink,_  
_'Cuz us Vikings don't care what you think! Woe, woe, woe._

_Let me in now, won't you please?_  
_We're here to raid your monasteries._  
_We're primed and ready to attack_  
_And we love how monks just don't fight back!_  
_You'll die or become a slave to me_  
_(Though our slaves often get chucked in the sea_  
_If the boat's heavy! ) Yeah, yeah, yeah._

_You're gonna lose your head, my friend. Literally._  
_We're gonna getcha in the end. Literally._  
_And I'll drink a toast from your skull_  
_"Cuz we're Vikings and that's how we roll! Woe, woe, woe._

_We're gonna paint the whole town red (Literally)_  
_With the blood of the dead! Literally._  
_We'll take everything that you own_  
_And get back on our ship and go back home. Woe, woe, woe_

_We're going home._

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	8. Stupid Deaths Jack Daniel

***America as Jack Daniel and Prussia as Death***

_____Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) ______Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Death didn't have his judges that day but he still had to do his job.

"NEXT!"

A man dressed in dark southern clothing and a white hat with the year 1911 came in.

"Und you are?"

The man answered,

"Jack Daniel, American businessman,distiller and founder of the famous Jack Daniel's Whiskey."

"Ooh, this should be an interesting story, tell me about your story mien freund."

Jack began to answer,

"Well, my drink was special, it made me a rich man, my whiskey was very tasty and loved among the public."

Death yawned,

"Blah,blah, blah get to zhe juice."

Jack continued,

"Okay, keep your shirt on. One day I deiced to go to work earlier than everyone else. I went into my office and couldn't get my safe opened. I was so frustrated, I kicked the safe incredibly hard and damaged my toe."

"Ooh, this is getting interesting."

Death grinned.

"After the damage the wound became infected, the wound resulted in blood poisoning. It eventually went gangrene, and I died."

Death began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Kesesesesese, looks like the early bird gets the gangrene. Kesesesese, you're through to the afterlife Jack."

He walked into the afterlife door.

"Oh, man he was dead funny. NEXT!"

_____Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

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	9. Measly Middle Ages:King Charles VI

**MEASLY MIDDLE AGES**

***France as King Charles VI***

A Middle age area peasant showed up on screen, "In the middle ages there were some unpopular and crazy kings, but one of the craziest was King Charles VI of France for a good reason."

He pulled the title card away to reveal King Charles VI in his throne room.

"Your majesty, your new clothes are ready for you." A man presented.

"Good, please let me see zhem."

Then man carrying the clothes approached but the king called out loud,

"GUARDS!"

He stopped,

"Your majesty what is wrong?"

"You're coming my way, don't you even know that I'm made of glass?"

A sign popped up saying, "King Charles VI really thought he was made of glass."

The man shifted his eyes and said,"Okay I won't come any closer but could you please at least feel zhis fabric?"

The king felt the fabric of the new clothing.

"GUARDS!"

"Now what?"

"Zhese clothes are not reenforced whiz any iron rods. I need zhem in order to prevent myself from breaking."

"Okay your majesty. I will come back tomorrow whiz zhis reenforced."

One day later he returned back with the clothing reenforced. But he heard a sound coming from the kings room.

"GUARDS! ARREST ZHIS MAN FOR TRYING TO COME CLOSE TO MY ROOM!"

The man was soon arrested. Later a puppet rat was shown in the next scene.

"That is one hundred percent accu-rat. King Charles Vi of France suffered from a mental illness that made him think he was made of glass. In fact he thought about this for such a long time he even forbade people to come near him, even his own wife. I guess that will shatter a relationship. HAHAHAHA!"

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	10. Woeful 2nd World War: Paint London White

**WOEFUL SECOND WORLD WAR**

An announcer started to speak.

"Need to see at night during the blackout? Well, why not try the new trend in Britain known as painting things white?"

England appeared on screen with a paintbrush and white paint.

"Yes, painting things white, because during the blackout all lights will be off, and I mean all lights."

The lights turned off and England was left in the dark.

"Hey I can't see."

"This is why painting things white was popular during WW2. Because moonlight and starlight reflected off of the paint."

A sign popped up that said, "True."

"Also, be warned that during this time the no lights allowed thing is very serious, just a few careless light lit up could mean a bomb for London. So start painting whatever you can find. Paint your streets, trees, hydrants, streetlight posts, cars, and even farm animals."

Another sign popped up that said, "True."

England began to paint until the announcer said.

"Also, if you plan to go out at night remember to try and wear or carry something white."

England appeared with white gloves and a newspaper.

"As for girls, try to be aware of your rations and know that there are no new dresses being made, so remember to get creative, try our new curtain dress to go with anything you make."

_****_A puppet rat appeared in the next scene,

"It's true, during the war the people of London couldn't turn on their lights at night. So they painted just about everything with white stripes in order to see a little better at night. And women couldn't wear brand new dresses so they had to get creative restoring old dresses, or making new ones out of whatever fabric they could find, including curtains."

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	11. Blackbrows the pirate

**PUTRID PIRATES!**

***England as Blackbeard and most of the cast of the show as his crew***

The pirate captain turned to face the audience.

_"When I was a nipper, I boarded a clipper,  
Sailed the seas as a good importer, Oh!  
Edward Teach is my name, but I earnt my fame,  
As Blackbeard the pirate of the water, Oh!"_

"Was a jolly chap, with a jaunty cap,  
Always gave my crew good quarter, Oh!  
But I'm best known for, blood and guts and gore,  
And a viscous reign of murdering and slaughter, Oh!"

His crew started to sing.

_"Best known for, blood and guts and gore,  
And a viscous reign of murdering and slaughter, Oh! "_

"Left my home in Bristol, with a sword and pistol,  
Bid a fond farewell to ol' Blighty, Oh!  
What my enemies feared, was my think black beard,  
Which I always enjoyed setting light to, Oh!"

"Once I had a thing for a captive's lovely ring,  
That shone like a jewel in the nighty-oh!  
When the man said 'no', I just said 'oh,'  
And chopped of his hand and said 'righty-oh!'"

His crew sang again.

_"Man said 'No.' He said 'Oh,'  
Chopped of his hand and said 'righty-oh!' "_

"Oh, I love to sail the ocean,  
With my flag that inspired emotion."

The crew sang their own verse.

_"With its smiling pile of skull and bones,  
Smashing hearts with a violent, stabbing motion."_

"And I love to escape detection,  
And to win my crew's affection."

The crew sang their own verse again.

_"Which was nothing to do with the twelve guns he wore  
On his belt that were for protection."_

"I was awfully nice, but I had the odd vice,  
Which occasionally cause a commotion.  
The thing that I'd do was shoot members of my crew,  
If they didn't show enough devotion."

They repeated again,

_"The thing he'd do was shoot members of the crew,  
If they didn't show enough devotion."_

"Once when very Irate, I shot my first mate,  
Israel Hands for a bit of pleasure, Oh!  
And when my debts grew, killed half of my crew,  
To increase my share of the treasure, Oh!"

"Was doing well then, seemed to run out of men,  
My captives boarded at their leisure, Oh!  
Smote me dead then cut of my head,  
And displayed it on my mast for good measure, Oh!"

The repeated one last time.

_"Smote him dead, chopped off his head,  
Displayed it on the mast for good measure, Oh!"  
_

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	12. It's Not True With added facts

**It's Not True with some added lyrics.**

***Hungary as the teacher, England as the police officer, and child micro nations as the kids in class.***

A teacher was teaching a history "lesson," to her students about King Arthur.

"It was at this point where Arthur and the knights went on a journey that."

However a police officer walked into the room.

"I've heard quite enough of that. Teacher I am arresting you for disseminating falsehoods to young children?"

"W-What ever do you mean?" The teacher asked.

"Telling fibs, lying. You see children."

Music started to play.

_Everything your teacher says  
Is proved to be a fable  
There never was an Arthur  
Nor the knights, nor a round table  
The lady of the lake  
Was just a made up story too  
I hate to disappoint you all  
But it's not true!  
It's not true!_

Teacher, though you jibber  
You're just a great big fibber  
There was no Excalibur

_Galahad? _

_No such lad  
_

_Lancelot? _

_Lance-uh-not  
_

_Guinevere? _

_Dear, oh dear!  
_

_Look at me, I'm real enough!  
_

_Not true, Merlin! Disappear!  
There were no wizards, so it's clear  
That it's not true!_

_While we're on the subject_  
_I'm afraid I must confess_  
_Though Dick Turpin was a highwayman_  
_He never owned Black Bess_  
_And Tutankhamen's tomb_  
_Was never hit by any curse_  
_There never was a dragon slain by George_  
_It gets worse!_

___Marie Antoinette never said let them eat cake_

___A female Pope named Joan it was a mistake_

___Nero never played the fiddle when Rome burned to the ground_

___Witches were not burned in Salem_

___Columbus didn't prove the Earth was round_

___Pirates never made their victims  
Walk the plank on ships  
Sir Walter Raleigh wasn't first  
To bring back spuds or chips  
Robin Hood and Marian  
A made up story too  
Outlaws out in Nottingham?  
It's not true!  
It's not true!_

_Teach, you're such a liar_  
_Your pants are catching fire_  
_There never was a Friar Tuck_

_Viking hat? _

_No horn on that_

_King Alfred's cake?_

_ Big mistake_

_It never fried? _

_The old books lied_  
_Frankly, I deplore ya_  
_I hope these kids ignore ya_  
_'Cause in fact, Queen Victoria_  
_Never said 'We are not amused'_

Soon Queen victoria asked.

"Your children think I said what?"

The teacher answered,

"They thought you said, "We are not amused." your majesty."

"Really? that's kind of funny isn't it?"

_Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha_  
_Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha_  
_Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, _  
_Ha, ha ha! _  
_It's not true, it's not true! _  
_It's not true, it's not true! _  
_It's not true, it's not true! _  
_It's not true!_


	13. Rotten Romans: Nero's Olympics

**ROTTEN ROMANS**

***Grandpa Rome as Nero's advisor***

67 AD, Nero's advisor was with him in Greece.

"Hail Nero, your excellency what are we doing here in Greece?"

"Why to compete in the olympics my friend."

"Compete in the Olympics, but you've said you've always hated the Olympics and though that they were barbaric."

"Ah but this time I've told them to include a contest based on poetry."

A sign popped up that said, "true."

"Okay, I guess that might get you a prize. Well, good luck then."

One poetry contest later.

"Good news my friend, I have won the contest."

"That's very nice your Excellency."

Nero then told him,

"Now for me to compete in the Chariot Race."

Nero's advisor watched the whole race but saw that he wasn't really playing fair since Nero had a chariot drawn by 10 horses instead of 4, and eventually crashed his chariot but he still won.

"I've won again."

"Yes, you did but you crashed your chariot and had more horses than the others how did you win?"

"I simply bribed the olympic officials."

"But doesn't this seem a little unfair your Excellency?"

"Do you wish to be stabbed?"

"On second thought maybe it is fair. Good luck."

A puppet rat appeared in the next scene,

"That is one hundred percent accu-rat, Nero bribed olympic officials so he would win every event in the Olympics in 67 AD, he even bribed them to be held that year and the crowd needed to cheer if they wanted to live. However instead of winning medals in the Olympics they won prizes, especially cheesecake. Personally I enjoy any kind of cheese, especially if it's in the sewers. HAHAHAHAHA!"

_**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	14. Mary 1st Song

**TERRIBLE TUDORS!**

***Belgium as Queen Mary 1st***

We're cut away to a scene with Mary moving to the music and beginning to sing.

_King Henry 8th my father hoped I have some Tudor brothers mum had no sons,  
So rather I got plenty of step mothers when at last prince Ed was born the  
Crown I bid adieu they said as king he must be sworn boys go first in the  
Queue but there's no worry if at first you don't succeed when Ed died I  
Swept aside the rest and was decreed_

Mary the first that's me Tudor lady and queen of England not to be confused  
With Mary queen of Scots not the same see though weirdly she's a cousin to  
Me

Some tried to say Lady Jane Grey should be queen after Ed but England  
Wanted me hooray so poor Jane lost her head the Protestants were saying  
That my ruling made them sick 'cause when it comes to praying my tastes  
Were Cath-olic they revolted, challenged me fueled my great desire to tie  
300 to a stake light touch paper then retire.

Mary the first that's me called the bloody queen of England not what I  
Intended tried to be good you see but history only remembers I was a  
Catastrophe

Married Phillip king of Spain who then left me England he thought was a  
Pain especially 'cause he told me to attack France with troops and when the  
French advanced we lost Calais oops! Through out my reign it rained and  
Rained it poured upon the poor the harvest failed no food remained and flu  
Killed many more. Burned Protestants and wed a fool led armies to defeat.  
Burned more Prots I say more rule was short but not that sweet I had no  
Kids called half sis Liz as a big queen Bess to be so long as she would  
Rule the land as a catholic queen like me

Lizee didn't listen she made the country Protestant meaning my legacy was  
Ruined see everything I tried to achieve went down the swanny

Bit embarrassing really.__

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	15. Stupid Deaths: Sirkka Sari

**Stupid Deaths Sirkka Sari**

***Prussia as Death Fem Finland as Sirkka Sari.***

****_Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

__Death was at the table with his judges.

"NEXT!"

A burnt up woman appeared in the room with the year 1939 on walked in.

"Und you are?"

"Sirkka Sari, Finnish movie actress."

"Okay Grandma tell me your story."

She lifted an eyebrow,

"Grandma? I'm 19."

"19!? Well what happened frau? Some sort of movie explosion?"

"Well, no. You see we were in the middle of shooting the final scenes of my latest movie "A Rich Girl"."

"Go on."

"I was on the roof of a Hotel, and I saw what looked like a Balcony. So I went up to it to only find out that it was a chimney. So I fell down and died in the boiler."

Death began to laugh,

"KESESESESE! From mistaking a chimney for a balcony. Are you sure you didn't intend the movie to be a tragic comedy? Lemme just check."

Death consulted his judges.

"That's three yeses, you're through to the afterlife."

She walked into the afterlife.

"Man that was funny, NEXT!"

_Stupid deaths Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

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	16. Scary Stories: The Hope Diamond Curse

**SCARY STORIES! *Romania as the story teller***

A flash of lightning flashed and we are taken to a scary narrator with a Romanian accent.

"Good evening my fans of dread, I am Vlad, here to present you with the tale of, The Curse of the Hope Diamond."

Lightning flashed again presenting the title "Curse of the Hope Diamond."

"In Stuart times a large diamond was mined from India with an elusive blue color. However, the gem was eventually stolen by Jean-Baptiste Tavernier from the statue of an Indian Goddess who died and was eaten by dogs just a while after the gem was stolen."

Lightning flashed again.

"Pretty soon King Louis the 14th had the gem cut, yet it didn't affect the curse one bit. Since he died later on. Pretty soon other French royals had possessed the diamond. Famously Marie Antoinette and Louis the 16th owned the diamond leading them to their guillotined fate in the French revolution."

A guillotine sound effect was heard.

"Soon the gem was smuggled to Britain where Dutch jeweler Wilhelm Fals acquired the gem and was murdered by his son, Hendrick who, later, committed suicide.  
And then King george the 4th owned it, however after he reigned for 10 years he soon died from the curse. And then more victims were taken year later. Especially John Hope and his family."

"While nowadays the gem resides in a museum, what ever happened to Jean-Baptise Tavernier before he was eaten? It turns out that he died form a fever in his 80s."

He looked around with a confused expression.

"Wait a fever? That's really how he died. It turns out every so called curse was really a string of coincidences, since Louis the 14th died from a gangrene infection, the guillotine for the French royals was caused by an accusation of the king plotting with the Austrians, and King George the 4th really died of a ruptured blood vessel. There was no curse at all, it was just made up by the media."

He sighed,

"When am I going to get a real scary story?"

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	17. Richard the III Song

**MEASLY**** MIDDLE AGES**

***France as Richard the III. The house of Plantagenet was French.***

A middle age peasant walked on screen,

"Richard III was an evil murderous monster. Or was he?"

He slid to another scene of Richard plucking flower petals.

_I was sure that you'd love me  
To that hope, I did cling  
'Cause I'm... Richard the third  
And... everybody loves a king!_

_Thought I did a good job_  
_Why do you disagree?_  
_There's a lot of people_  
_Spreading nasty rumors 'bout me_  
_Every word is a lie_  
_So I'm singing this song_  
_'Cause the history books_  
_Have been telling it wrong!_

_Never had a limp_  
_Always walked my full height_  
_Never had a hump_  
_And my arm was all right_

He began to display signs.

_Never took the crown  
With the legal power  
Never killed my nephews  
The princes in the tower  
Tudor propaganda  
It's all absurd  
Time to tell the truth  
'Bout King Richard the third_

_My brother Edward, died_  
_His kids too young to rule_  
_So... I took the throne_  
_Why not? I'm nobody's fool!_

_Thomas More wrote a history_  
_Said I'd murdered Edward's boys_

He grabbed the paper from Thomas.

_Shakespeare said their death _

_Was an evil ploy _

He grabbed the paper from Shakespeare.

_But I say those two  
Are historical vandals!_

He tore up the papers.

_ They've ruined my image!  
I mean, what a scandal!_

_Never bumped off_  
_Those harmless young heirs_  
_Never buried them_  
_Under the Tower of London stairs_  
_Never poisoned my wife_  
_Bumped off her daddy_  
_This is me, sweet Richard_  
_Do I look like a baddy?_  
_Never was two-faced_  
_Sure you'll agree_  
_I was misunderstood_  
_King Richard three_

_Can you imagine it?_  
_I'm the last Plantagenet_  
_Beaten by Henry_  
_In the Wars of the Roses_  
_The Tudor dynasty_  
_Didn't care that much for me_  
_Now I'm painted as a baddy_  
_That's why one supposes..._

He started to vocalize off screen.

_Never forget  
When you hear of my crimes  
Never drowned my brother  
In a massive vat of wine  
Never said 'a horse!  
My kingdom for a horse! '  
Who made that up?  
Why, William Shakespeare, of course!_

_Now my tale is told_  
_You won't hear a bad word_  
_About a special ruler_  
_King Richard the third_

"I'm a nice guy, really."

He tried to smell the flowers.

"Ahh there's a wasp, there's a wasp."

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	18. Arthur Kirkland:George Washington

**AWSOME USA!**

_"Lots of things in history are actually a mystery. The truth's not always in the books you read. Facts can get distorted or even misreported. Imagine if that was all down to me. Arthur Kirklane._IT'S KIRKLAND! Sorry."

Arthur was on his phone,

"Yeah I got the picture, Napoleon Bonaparte was the French leader, the other Napoleon was a pig from a George Orwell book."

He hung up the phone,

"WALLOP!"

His assistant Elizavetha came in,

"Arthur, I've got George Washington here to see you."

"All right then love, send him in."

He walked into the room.

"Georgie, grab a seat, Arthur Kirkland telling it as it wasn't. So what seems to be the problem?"

He took his seat and said,

"Well, the problem my friend is all of these historical myths people seem to create about me."

"Oh really? A man as honest as yourself wouldn't lie I mean you did tell your father you chopped down that tree."

"I never chopped down any cherry tree in my life there's no proof at all, it was just something made up by the media."

Arthur wrote notes down,

"Right I can see,yet how did you manage to work with those wooden teeth?"

"Those so called wooden teeth never existed. In fact they were made form metal springs and ivory."

He took down more notes.

"Way to say the truth mr 1st president."

"Oh, and that's another problem, I'm not really the 1st president."

"Really?"

"I'm only the first president Of the United States under the current constitution. Before that there were 13 others."

A sign popped up that said, "True."

"Well, I'll be sure to clear everything up for you chap?" He wrote down notes, "And then I'll be sure to check with these history book makers." He finished writing.

"WALLOP!"

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	19. I'm a Knight

**MEASLY MIDDLE AGES *The BTT as the knights***

Music began to play and everyone was presented with three knights

_I'm a knight, I'm a knight, and I'm a knight  
and our only aim in life, is to fight  
I'm a knight, I'm a knight and I'm a knight  
We fight by day, & when it' not so bright  
we're not so bright  
We light to beat & chop & stab our wicked enemy  
but all the time we try to stick to rules of chivalry  
Rule one: we have to do brave deeds for some great lady fair  
I'd write poems  
I would joust  
Well I would fight a bear!_

A teddy bear appeared on screen.

"Well, maybe a teddy bear... Oh I can't!"

_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_

_& our only aim in life, is to fight_  
_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_  
_We charge ahead_  
_but never left or right_  
_we're never right_  
_Rule 2: we have to practice in the noble art of war_  
_battle for our king & country that's what knights are for._  
_& if there is no war to fight a-hunting we will go_  
_We hunt for deer & rabbits too_  
_so long as they are slow!_

_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_  
_& our only aim in life, is to fight_  
_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_  
_we are fighters & our armour's always tight_  
_& these swords aren't light!_

They all fell over from the weight of the swords

_Rule 3: we aim to capture other knights alive  
their families pay us lots of dosh so long as they survive  
We act like gentlemen & only fight with other gents  
A real knight, he would never fight against peasants  
besides peasants pong._

_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_  
_& our only aim in life, is to fight_  
_I'm a knight, I'm a knight & I'm a knight_  
_when we ride to war we're such a splendid sight_  
_we are a sight._

_****__Please review be_fore faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.


	20. Flame

**GROOVY GREEKS *Greece and England as the Greeks, Rome as Nero, France as Baron de Coubertin and Cameroon as Jessie Owens.***

_In 776BC Olympics were begun _  
_Greece was the only country, so naturally we won _  
_Cheats built bronzes of God Zeus were we honest winners _  
_The answer's no we had more statues than you've had hot dinners _  
_Our games meant truce was called in war a peace every 4 years _  
_But wrestling was so violent that bouts could end in tears _  
_No girls allowed to watch or run that might sound rude _  
_But makes sense when I tell you we competed nude _

_FLAME _  
_It's gonna burn forever _  
_Love for Olympic heroes _  
_FLAME _  
_We'd like one next however _  
_Sadly it's Emperor Nero _

"Hey watch it you two, alright"

_I went from Rome to Greece so I could play them at their games _  
_In 67AD you know I won Olympic fame _  
_Told them to include a contest based on poetry _  
_Not much good for sportsmen no, but brilliant for me _  
_Crashed my racing chariot but still awarded gold _  
_Hey my Olympics my rules _  
_To argue would be bold _  
_I won every medal that was up for grabs _  
_The crowd loved it well they had to or I would have had them stabbed, OK? _

_FLAME _  
_Olympic champion that's me _  
_My games were emperors own round _  
_FLAME _  
_Think I was bad in 393 _  
_Christian Rome had them banned _  
_It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over _

"SHAME"

_WAIT not so fast _

_I'm Baron de Coubertin, a famous French historian _  
_I read of the Olympic Games thought I should try restoring them _  
_They'd be just like the old days I said but did propose _  
_That unlike Greeks Victorians should do them wearing clothes _  
_In 1896 we launched the games in dear old Greece _  
_Hoped it would make men more morale as well as less obese _  
_We built a stadium so we could start to play _  
_Games of the modern Olympics which we still have today _

_FLAME _  
_I'm on my personal glory _  
_But no-one remembers my name _  
_FLAME _  
_So here to finish our story _  
_A man who has gold plated fame _

_I'm Jesse Owens fastest man in 1936 _  
_I took home 4 gold medals yeah, but that's just the basics _  
_What you should know about the fact I was victorious _  
_Is, it made hey Hitler mad ha it made him furious _  
_Hitler said Berlin should be the games Germanic base _  
_So he could show the world Aryans were the master race _  
_I won in 4 events he had to back pedal _  
_His evil theory destroyed with every medal _

_FLAME _  
_It's gonna burn forever _  
_Olympics are never in doubt _  
_FLAME _  
_A fire of sporting endeavour _  
_You realise it's actually gone out _  
_Olympic, Olympic _  
_FLAME_

_**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all. PSS Good luck in Rio 2016.**_


	21. Stupid deaths Charles II of Navarre

**Stupid deaths Charles II of Navarre **

***France as Charles II and Prussia as death***

___Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Today death was alone without his judges but he still did his job.

"NEXT!"

A medieval king with the year 1387 appeared.

"Und you are?"

"Charles II King of Navarre."

"Ooh, a royal death. Well, go on and tell me your story mien freund."

The king began to tell his story,

"Well, despite being a king, that didn't always mean I was safe from diseases. So one day my doctors had this weird cure."

Death had his interest sparked.

"Ooh, this is getting good."

"They wrapped me in these cloths that were soaked in brandy to try and cure me but a cloth's seam broke near my neck."

Death smirked,

"Go on."

"Well, one of my servants sewed up the area and saw a stray thread that needed to be cut off."

"The bit?"

"Well, it turns out that instead of using scissors my servant used a candle and thanks to the servant forgetting I was soaked in brandy I was lit on fire."

Death laughed hysterically.

"KESESESESESESESE! From forgetting you were coated in alcohol. Looks like that cure burned a little. You're through to the afterlife Charlie."

He soon walked into the afterlife.

"He was dead funny, NEXT!"

___Stupid deaths, Stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

_**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	22. Slimy Stuarts: Shouty Man

**SLIMY STUARTS *Italy as the shouty man***

****"Hi, I'm a shouty man with a new product for all of you rich folk out there. Foreign fruits."

He was soon seen carrying a basket of fruits not native to Europe.

"Yes, with foreign fruits you can truly live the posh life. Try our tomatoes, pineapples, and bananas among many more fruits."

It then cut to a scene with a servant carrying the fruit.

"Have the fruits be used by your servants to decorate your homes. That's right, decorate your homes with foreign fruits, and people will be able to see how rich you are."

A peasant looked at the fruits,

"Wow, fruit, must be a rich guy."

"However, be careful not to eat the tomatoes, while they look good enough to eat they're actually poisonous."

A sign popped up that said,

"Many people during this time actually believed this."

"That's foreign fruits, makes you look rich because it can only be afforded by the rich."

The next scene cut away to a puppet rat.

"That is one hundred percent accu-rat. When fruit was first brought back to Europe it was incredibly expensive so only posh people could afford it. Also, most rich people actually ate off of pewter dishes so the acid from the tomatoes made lead leach into the fruit and gave them lead poisoning. This is why they were considered poisonous until Victorian times. And yes tomatoes are fruits."

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	23. Fairy tale: Puss in Boots Celtic version

**CUT THROAT CELTS *Hungary as the story teller***

An animated Celtic man appeared.

"We Celts were quite superstitious, especially when it came to our use of animals."

He pulled to the next scene.

"Hello and welcome to our fairytale series. Today's story is, Puss in Boots, the Celtic version."

Everyone was then cut to the story.

"Once upon a time the youngest son of a miller inherited a cat from his late father. One day the cat was dressed in boots and went to visit the king."

A scene with the cat walking up to the castle was shown.

"Unfortunately for the cat this was Celtic times so this was a Celtic king. So as soon as he got there he was buried alive in the walls for good luck."

The next scene showed the cat being buried in the wall.

"So only the king lived happily ever after, the end."

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	24. Stupid deaths: A Homeless Japanese man

**WOEFUL SECOND WORLD WAR**

***Japan as the homeless man and Prussia as Death***

_Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. (Woo) Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Death was with his judges waiting for the next one to come in.

"No, I don't dye mien hair it's really like this. Oh Vhatever, NEXT!"

Soon a Japanese man who appeared to be homeless with the year 1945 came in.

"Und you are?"

The man answered,

"A homeless Japanese man during the American occupation."

Death sighed,

"Another one? Let me guess Hiroshima? Nagasaki?"

The man simply answered,

"Iie, it's actually more unusual than you would think."

Death started to grin,

"Ooh, well this might be interesting. So tell me the story."

The Japanese man then said,

"Well, during the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki many of us were left homeless, me being one of them."

"Of course."

"Now not only were we homeless but we were hungry too, so we often went digging in restaurant garbage pails for food scraps."

Death then became confused.

"Okay, so why are you here? Death from a rotten fruit or something?"

"No, it turns out I grilled fugu scraps ate them, and died from the poison in the scraps."

Death began to laugh hysterically.

"KESESESESESESESESESE! From eating fugu scraps, I knew you had a fishy death. Let me just check with the judges."

He checked,

"Hmm, yes, yes, that's three yeses, you're through to the after life."

The man then walked into the afterlife.

"Man I love mien job sometimes. NEXT!"

_Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you._

Soon a puppet rat appeared in the next scene,

"It's true after the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki homeless Japanese people would go in restaurant bins for food to eat, mostly eating fugu scraps. Fugu is really just pufferfish but if it's not cut the right way its poisonous. This is why by law fugu chefs need licenses, and the Emperors of Japan can't eat fugu."

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	25. Rancid Russians: Shouty Man

**RANCID RUSSIANS *Italy as the Shouty man and Russia as a resident of Samoyedic tribes***

****"Hi I'm a shouty man here to tell you about the new fabric that can be useful for you Siberians."

He held up a white sweater.

"It's the new Samoyed yarn. Made with real samoyed fur that was shed from a samoyed dog."

A sign popped up that said, "True."

"With Samoyed fur you can knit a great sweater that will keep you warm in Siberian snow. Just look at these people over here."

He walked over to a man wearing the sweater.

"How do you feel about the sweater my friend?"

The man then answered,

"It actually works and the best part is that you just need samoyed for use."

"That's right with samoyed yarn, all you need is one samoyed dog, and you'll be set with the use of its fur for life, or at least the dog's life. Order now and we'll include pre-made yarn."

_**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	26. Gorgeous Georgians: Fritz's Cannon

**GORGEOUS**** GEORGIANS *Prussia as one of Frederick's servants***

It was morning in the Kingdom of Prussia and everyone was ready to get up, especially King Frederick William I. However, his son Frederick who was the heir to the throne, was still in bed.

"Frederick, what are you still doing in bed?"

He saw his son role around still not awake.

"Oh not again, servant!"

A servant walked in and asked,

"Yes your majesty?"

"It appears my son is still asleep, we need to wake him up. Get the cannon please."

A sign popped up that said,

"Frederick the great really did wake up to a cannon."

"Yes your majesty."

The servant pushed the cannon into the room lit it and said,

"Stand back."

The cannon fired and the prince was awake.

"Ah, I love the sounds war in the morning, guten morgen vater."

A puppet rat appeared in the next scene.

"It's true, before Frederick the great became the king of Prussia he always liked to be waken up by the sound of a cannon in the morning. Rumors say he liked the sounds of war so much he would wake up to it. I personally like to wake up to the sounds of sewers myself. HAHAHAHAHA"

_**"**__**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	27. Victoria and Albert

**VILE VICTORIANS *Hungary as Victoria and Austria as Albert***

A Victorian man popped up, "During Victorian times new books were written and read, some of the best were romance novels. But nothing could compare to our queen. Good day."

He pulled to the next scene featuring a flash back between A young Victoria and Albert. Then an older Victoria,

_For 40 years I ruled alone _  
_She'd all those tears while on the throne _  
_What got me through the pain and hurt _  
_Was clinging to the memory of Albert. _

Then it showed Albert,

_I loved her so, my darling Vicky _  
_So much, you know almost made me sicky _  
_I was not liked in your country _  
_But who cares when I had her love for me _  
_Her love for me _

_Oh V and A _  
_Oh A and V _  
_Each way it spells L-O-V-E_  
_Oh A and V _  
_Oh V and A _  
_They'll name a building after us one day _

_In love from our first Rendezvous _  
_As queen had to propose to you _  
_You were my rock in a crisis _  
_Like when someone tried to shoot you but they missed_

_We were a real celebrity pair _  
_Was first Queen Vic, first Albert Square _  
_The press watched every smile and flirt _  
_Called us Alboria but I prefer Vicbert _  
_Or you can call me Al _

_Oh Bert and Vic _  
_Oh Vic and Bert _  
_Nine kids made me found in hurt _  
_Oh Vic and Bert _  
_Oh Bert and Vic _  
_Yet I found babies ugly ironic _

"Eur! My eyes!"

_We set trends, _  
_Started new traditions. _  
_Christmas trees, _  
_Wearing tartan with style. _  
_Albert backed _  
_The Great Exhibition. _  
_Which made great Britain, _  
_Albert-o-phile. _

_At last! _

_Oh Vic and Al _  
_Oh Al and Vic _  
_You showed our kids love with your stick _  
_Oh Al and Vic _  
_Oh Vic and Al _  
_Our scores are truly grander than royal._

Albert then had a heart attack,

_Then Albert died _  
_Which left just me _  
_Just V no A _  
_No A just V _  
_Oh how I mourned my special pal _  
_I love you Vic _  
_I love you Al_

_**"**__**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	28. The Origin of Your Goose is Cooked

**TERRIBLE TUDORS!**

***England, as a town's resident, other characters as people in the town, and Sweden as Eric the Mad***

A Tudor woman popped up,

"In Tudor times many sayings and phrases common to the English language were created by Shakespeare, but the saying of having your goose cooked is a different story."

She pulled to the next scene, in it was a small village being attacked by Swedish soldiers.

"This is so annoying, so many days and still they won't let up."

Thought the village person. He soon spotted a goose that was just killed for food. He walked over and picked it up.

"Huzzah, we still have food."

He then announced to some people,

"Look everyone, a goose we still have food to eat."

The towns people chatted amongst each other.

"So what do we do with it?"

Asked somebody.

"I've got an idea, we'll hang it up on a door to show that despite the invasion we still have food."

Said the man who found the goose.

Everybody chatted in agreement. Later that night the goose was tied to a door that everyone could see. However, next morning Eric saw the goose.

"A goose, Do they think they're being funny?"

Within a few minutes the whole town was lit on fire, and after it went out the guy who found the goose said.

"I guess our goose just got cooked."

_**"**__**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	29. Stupid Deaths: Frederick Barbarossa

**Stupid deaths: ****Frederick I Barbarossa *Germany as Frederick and Prussia as Death***

_"Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. Woo, stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you."_******  
**

Death held up a scroll and shouted,

"NEXT!"

An emperor like man came in wearing the year 1190, and he was also wet in his armor.

"Und You are?"

"Frederick Barbarossa, Holy roman emperor."

Death looked at his death date,

"Hmm, another royal on crusading I assume?"

"Ja, but mien death wasn't due to battle."

Death smirked,

"Oooh, this is getting interesting, would your death have something to do with water?"

Frederick nodded.

"Tell me the story Freddy, I'm all ears."

"Of course, as I was off on the third crusade there was a battle in the Asia minor, however one of them was across a river and the only way to get across was this tiny bridge."

"Go on."

"Well, I was getting impatient since it was so crowded and my son was the leader of the advanced guard. So I decided to plunge into the river to get across, I forgot to take off my armor, and both my horse and I drowned as we were crossing."

Death began to laugh hysterically.

"KESESESESESESESE! By crossing the river and forgetting about your armor, talk about a washed up death. You're through to the after life Freddy."

After he left, death went back to work.

"Man that was a good one, NEXT!"

_Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, they're funny cause they're true. Woo, stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you."_

_**"**__**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	30. Christmas Special: Oh Christmas Tree

**CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: Oh Christmas Tree**

*A variety of characters as the carolers*

There was a knock on the door, and it was opened to reveal carolers who started to sing.

_O Christmas Tree  
O Christmas Tree  
You Really Came From Germany  
An Ancient German Tradition  
Was Based Upon Superstition  
O Christmas Tree  
O Christmas Tree  
Brought Here Under King George 3  
His Wife Was German-Thanks To Her  
The Palace Got It's Christmas Fir  
O Christmas Tree  
O Christmas Tree  
Then Only Known By Royalty  
Twas Not 'till Queen Victoria  
That You Became So Popular  
She Gave Christmas Another Lift  
When Under The Tree She Put Gifts  
O Christmas Tree  
O Christmas Tree  
Now I Know Your True History_

_**"**__**Please review before faving. Reviews help us writers go on. PS I own nothing at all.**_


	31. Horrible Trivia Questions

**TRIVIA Time**

Hungary came in the room and said,

"Its time for some Horrible Trivia." She cleared her throat and began to say, the questions.

"True or False: Captain John Smith never had any children due to an injury."

She moved on to the next question,

"Henry Spelman's what allowed him to live among the Native Americans without being seen as a threat. Was it

A) His wealth

B) His age

Or C) His job?"

She then pulled out the next question.

"True or False: In Ancient Greece and Rome citizens idolized blonde hair and cut off the hair of Germanic slaves to make wigs."

And then the next one,

"What did ancient Greeks believe happened to redheads after they died? Was it that

A) They became vampires

B) They became zombies

Or C) They became gorgons?"

**Answers will be in the next chapter I own nothing at all.**


	32. Horrible Trivia Answers

**TRIVIA Time answers**

Hungary came in the room and said,

"Its time for the answers to our horrible trivia." She cleared her throat and began to say, the questions and answers.

"True or False: Captain John Smith never had any children due to an injury."

There was a pause,

"It's TRUE. Captain John Smith had a gunpowder accident in 1609 to his groin that forced him to return to England."

She moved on to the next question,

"Henry Spelman's what allowed him to live among the Native Americans without being seen as a threat. Was it

A) His wealth

B) His age

Or C) His job?"

Another pause came, and she answered.

"It's B) His age. When Henry Spelman lived with the Natives he was only 14, making him not seen as a threat to the native tribes as he was learning about their culture, and language."

She then pulled out the next question.

"True or False: In Ancient Greece and Rome citizens idolized blonde hair and cut off the hair of Germanic slaves to make wigs."

There was another pause.

"It's TRUE, blonde hair was considered sacred to the Romans and Greeks so they used Germanic slave's hair to make wigs out of them."

And then the next one,

"What did ancient Greeks believe happened to redheads after they died? Was it that

A) They became vampires

B) They became zombies

Or C) They became gorgons?"

She then said,

"It's A) Ancient greek mythology often had stories about redheads becoming vampires after they died. But redheads were also in trouble during the witch hunts as well."

**Please review I own nothing**


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